Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Find out about how guest Shanaaz Achmat endued and survived a painful 6years of betrayal, an ugly divorce, poverty and life as a sinking ship

GENDER HUB WEDNESDAY
By Denisia Adams
WORD OF THE DAY
punctilious
1. Strictly attentive to the details of form in action or conduct; precise; exact in the smallest particulars.
Eg. The clerk was so punctilious in obeying the court rules that I had to remind him why I was there.

SA TRIVIA QUESTION
What is considered the “centre” of Rondebosch?
A – The university B – The Rondebosch Fountain C – The Bus stop
Answer: B – The Rondebosch Fountain
The Fountain is considered the "centre" of Rondebosch and can be visited in its original place, now the busy traffic intersection where Belmont Road meets Main Road. On or near this spot, stood a clump of thorn trees named by Jan van Riebeeck, "'T Ronde Doornbosjen" from which Rondebosch took its name. In this vicinity, on March 1, 1657, nine free "burghers" took permanent title to land and became the first European "citizens" of South Africa. The Fountain was donated to the Municipality of Rondebosch by George Pigot Moodie on 26 Sept 1891. He died five weeks later at Westbrooke where he lived.It was proclaimed a national monument on 10 April 1964. Contrary to its name, the Fountain is actually an ornamental trough for watering horses.


DID YOU KNOW (www.didyouknow.org)
About 500 small meteorites fall to earth every year but most fall in the sea and in unpopulated areas. DID YOU KNOW The tallest mountain on earth is under the ocean: Mauna Kea in Hawaii is 10,200 metres (33,465 ft) high. Mount Everest is 8,848 metres (29,029 ft) high.


TIP OF THE DAY
How to Smile With the Eyes
Scientists have pinpointed more than 50 types of smiles, and research suggests that the sincerest smile of all is the Duchenne smile--a smile that pushes up into the eyes. The reason it's more genuine is because the muscles needed to smile with our eyes are involuntary; they only become engaged in an authentic smile, not in a "courtesy" smile. Since you can't force a genuine smile (after all, that's what makes them genuine!) this article will suggest some ways you can smile from within.
1. Stop being a people pleaser. If you constantly smile in order to be polite and agreeable, you're tightly controlling your countenance and not giving your Duchenne smile much of a chance to shine through. Plus, if you're focused on everyone else's happiness, you're neglecting your own. A real smile arises from your own personal joy, not someone else's. People with martyr syndrome will often say that they derive their greatest personal joy from helping others, and sometimes this is true, but other times, it's an easy way to justify their self-sacrifice and avoid stepping out of their comfort zone.
2. Be happy. A genuine smile comes from genuine happiness. And studies on what makes people happy reveal that it doesn't have much to do with material goods or high achievement; it seems to whittle down to your outlook on life. So learn How to Be Optimistic and real smiles will follow. After all, think about who has the most genuine smiles: kids! They never worry, and life is one big game to them. Follow their lead...be laid back and playful!
3. Find your "happy place". This is an exercise that'll help you recognize what really makes you happy. Look in the mirror and cover everything below your eyes with a handkerchief or similar. Then start thinking or talking out loud about your happiest memories. Smile as you do so. You'll notice that at some points, your eyes "twinkle" and you get "crows' feet" wrinkles near your temples. There's your Duchenne smile! So the closest you're ever going to get to smiling with your eyes on command is to channel your happiest memories, and let your face do the rest.
4. Stop being self-conscious about your smile. If you're preoccupied with the color or direction of your teeth, the prominence of your gums, the smell of your breath...you might subconsciously stifle your smile because you feel embarrassed. There are some things that can be helped (like whitening your teeth and getting rid of bad breath) but ultimately, you need to commit to the belief that all genuine smiles are beautiful smiles, including your own.
WE ALSO FEATURED:
Our inspiring individual who goes by the name Shanaaz Achmat. Shanaaz joined us today in our studios to openly share her life’s experience which consisted of betrayal, an ugly divorce, poverty and life as a sinking ship.

Shanaaz got married at the tender age of fourteen years old. She and her husband at the time were in love, had kids and were inseparable or so it seemed. Being from a Muslim faith her husband at the time decided to marry another wife and it was seen as acceptable but as time grew and as his eagerness for more grew resulted in Shanaaz becoming suspicious, Is he having affairs? His feelings towards her changed, he wanted her out and his new twenty-two year younger partner in. What happens next is where life ultimately crumbled before her very eyes.


As mentioned Shanaaz married very young and didn’t have to work and couldn’t work in fact, so when her ex husband demanded she leave she had absolutely nothing to fall back on. She said she couldn’t believe what was happening she claims she was the perfect wife very submissive always did everything he wanted on time every time and of course she loved him dearly, he was her life. Yet the drama doesn’t end there.


Shanaaz was then moved by her ex husband with her four kids out of the house and into a tiny separate entrance with nothing but paper to sleep on. He then also reduced his maintenance from R3500 for four kids to R1000. Shanaaz says she was torn apart her health was deteriorating, she fell from a staggering 107kg’s to 54kg’s, she developed an eating disorder, a thyroid problem and for the years that followed she was either in hospital, at a police station or in and out of court.


Her ultimate breaking point was when her ex husband told their kids that he no longer will be there for them because he has a new life. She also suffered from a stroke and her kids literally had to help her move from one point to another.

Where things started to change for her was when asked by her daughter, “mommy when are you going to stand up out of bed? When are you going to go on?” Shanaaz believes this was her turning point. That evening Shanaaz says she got into a shower used up the geyser water, cried herself to a oblivion for one last time, completely cleansed herself, got down on her praying mat and prayed. “I thought to myself no more”, I have kids who need me now more than ever”.


After regaining her strength she remembered how much she loved to bake and before her ordeal she use to bake for the elderly and claims to be pretty good at it. Shanaaz then decided to bake Malay-style koeksisters and started selling them from her separate entrance. Her small business became fairly successful and she then added biscuits into “the mix” and eventually opened a Tuck Shop, much to the dismay of her ex husband.


Just when things started picking up she was offered a job as a casual at a retail store, she had no work experience at all but believed in herself and wanted more for her kids. Then just as her casual post came to an end she was offered an opportunity to train as a manager and yes the rest is history.

Shanaaz says that looking back on her ordeal she discovered that everything she went through was part of “a plan” that would lead her to where she is today. She describes her experience as moving through a tunnel. There’s a beginning and an end. At times the journey was clouded by pain it was dark but remembering there’s light at the end of the tunnel is what got her through. Her final words of encouragement is to never give up. I’ll end off by reciting a quote that goes, “we are all born for greater things”.


QUOTE OF THE DAY
Mary Engelbreit
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
That’s it for the Morning Cruise, where we cruise through your weekday here on BushRadio 89.5fm live on your stereo between 9am – 12pm with me Denisia Adams. Take Care ... make the best of your day and Keep the Faith. Stay Real!!!!!!!!!

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